


I'm Just a Little Unwell

by ShadyShadowDemon



Category: Markiplier Egos
Genre: Anxiety, Dark's not doing so well, Eyes, Hallucinations, Hearing Voices, How Do I Tag, Insanity, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institution, Some weird shit, and my need to make characters suffer, flash backs, inspired by crippling depression, slight au type thing, talking to shadows, voices
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-19 13:42:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20658197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadyShadowDemon/pseuds/ShadyShadowDemon
Summary: Dark’s eyes snapped to attention suddenly, red orbs bright with distress and confusion as they focused on the man in front of him. “They say you’re lying.” His voice was most definitely insane, the underlying tone to his deep voice indicating his shattered grip of reality.He was met with a soft sigh from the brunette in front of him. “Who’s they?” He asked, voice calm, but Dark could sense his exasperation, and the demon just stared at him with piercing red eyes. “Maybe if you told me I could help convince them otherwise.” He tried again, just like he did every time. And just like every other time, Dark gave no response.





	1. Chapter 1

_Dark? Dark! Can you hear me?_

Dark gripped his head, fingers threading through his messy black locks of hair, eyes wide open but completely unseeing of what was in front of him. He was curled in on himself, slowly rocking back and forth as the world seemed muffled and distant around him.

_’I love you, Dark. It’s going to be okay. I’ll see you soon, I promise.’_

_Dark! Answer me, please I need you to focus._

He was so confused. The voice wasn’t hers, but all he could see was her. He mouthed the words without any sound, ‘please don’t leave me alone. Please don’t leave me here.’

_’It’s okay. You’re safe here.’_

He shook his head, body trembling and red eyes going wide. Not safe not safe. Dark was never safe. Never in his life had he been safe. They were going to come for him, they were going to find him. He wasn’t safe, he had to leave.

_’You have to stay here, Dark. You’re safe here.’_

That wasn’t right. She would never tell him that. That wasn’t her. No, something was wrong-

_”You’re safe here, Dark, you have to let us help you.”_

Dark’s eyes snapped to attention suddenly, red orbs bright with distress and confusion as they focused on the man in front of him. “They say you’re lying.” His voice was most definitely insane, the underlying tone to his deep voice indicating his shattered grip of reality.

He was met with a soft sigh from the brunette in front of him. “Who’s they?” He asked, voice calm, but Dark could sense his exasperation, and the demon just stared at him with piercing red eyes. “Maybe if you told me I could help convince them otherwise.” He tried again, just like he did every time. And just like every other time, Dark gave no response.

The doctor sat back and ran his fingers through his hair when he got no reply from the demon. His blue eyes were soft, caring. Dark didn’t trust them. “Mark’s worried about you.” He offered, thinking perhaps the mention of the human might make Dark more willing to talk. “He stopped by yesterday and asked if he could see you. I want to let him, but if you won’t be more cooperative I can’t.”

It was true, Dark was being rather stubborn. He refused to do basically anything the doctors wanted him to. “They don’t want me to cooperate.” Dark said, eyes fixed on the doctor still.

“Why don’t they?” He asked, latching on to Dark’s statement.

“They don’t trust your eyes.”

“My eyes?” Those blue eyes clouded over with confusion, one hand reaching up instinctively to press two fingers beneath his eyes. “What about my eyes?”

“They remind us of someone else.” He said softly. “Caring, kind. They think you’re like him, that you’ll end up being like he was.”

“What do you mean, what did he do?” The doctor asked, curious. This was the most he had gotten out of Dark for a while. Dark was more cooperative at the beginning, but then he had shut down and what he did say always revolves around “them.”

Dark looked down at the floor, eyes glazing over and he just went vacant again. The doctor sighed and stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Dark.” He said softly before taking his leave.

After the door clicked shut only then did Dark whisper in reply, “He won’t be here tomorrow.” His eyes turned pure black and a sadistic smirk stretched across his face. “Nighty night.” He jerkily reaches up and wrapped his hands around his own neck and squeezed.

Dark gasped, trying to fight off the thing that was in control of him, trying to pry his hands away from his own throat. His body jerked and he tried to scream but no noise came out. His face turned blue and his body was convulsing from the lack of air.

And suddenly his struggling stopped, his eyes slipped shut and his body stilled.

~~~

Dark jerked awake with a gasp the next morning as he was woken up. The doctor titled his head and raised an eyebrow at the demon.

“Everything okay?”

Dark sat up and felt his throat, greedily gulping down air like he hadn’t been breathing up until now. He seemed panicked, eyes darting around the room like he expected some monster to be lurking around.

The doctor frowned in concern as Dark started hyperventilating. “Hey Dark, it’s okay. I need you to look at me, okay? That’s it, focus here. Now breathe with me, can you do that? Okay, In, one two three; and out, one two three...” slowly the panic receded from red orbs and Dark calmed down as he followed the instructions of the blue, caring eyes.

Dark blinked and looked down at the floor with a slight frown, hands clenching at the sheets of his bed.

“You slept in late today. Did you have a bad dream?” The doctor asked, sitting down in his usual chair.

Dark looked up at him at the sound of his voice and nodded slowly. He was still a bit shaken up. He couldn’t tell if it was real or not. Did he just dream the whole thing, or did something really try to choke him to death? If it did, then why wasn’t he dead? So many questions were circling through his mind and he didn’t have answers to any of them. _They_ weren’t helping either, accusing him of going even more insane than he already had. He tried to deny the accusations, but they didn’t believe it when he said he wasn’t crazy.

“Dark?” The doctor’s voice sudden snapped Dark out of his head. His eyes focused on the man and his blue eyes. Come to think of it, Dark couldn’t remember the doctor’s name. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Dark slowly shook his head again.

“Would you like some breakfast, then? Maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

Dark knew that this was another act to try and get him to cooperate, but he had refused any and all food for the last week or more, and he was hungry. He nodded.

The doctor smiled, and it was kind of blinding. Dark stared at him in a bit of a daze. “Come on, I’ll walk you there.”

The demon slowly got up and followed the doctor to the eating area, nervously fidgeting. It had been a while since he had agreed to leave his room despite the doctor’s many requests.

Dark had lost quite a bit of weight with his lack of eating coupled with his constant high stress state. By the time they got to the cafeteria type area, Dark was trembling slightly, eyes darting around like he expected something to jump out at him. His doctor gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Dark. Nothing is going to hurt you.” He promised softly. “Why don’t you sit and I’ll get you something to eat?”

Dark nodded. Normally he hates the physical contact of even a shoulder touch, but it was somewhat grounding in that brief second because it was something else to focus on. He slowly made his way over to a seat in the corner and sat down. There were other demons here, humans too, but none of them paid him any mind. The demons didn’t particularly care about his existence and half the humans were too scared of him. Although there was one or two that were looking at him.

He made eye contact with one. The man titled his head and offered Dark a smile and a flirtatious wink. Dark blinked, gaze clouding with confusion before his attention was pulled away by the sound of footsteps approaching him. The doctor was back. He set down a plate that had a small portion of eggs and a piece of toast with butter on it.

Dark knew he didn’t give him much or anything heavy because of the long period of time without food. It was to make sure it was easier for his body to keep it down. Dark slowly picked up his fork and took a bite of the eggs, chewing uncertainly before he swallowed. His jaw complained at the motion. Dark slowly began to eat his food, taking a long time to finish it due to how sick he felt when he started eating. He had to keep pausing every little while so he could fight back the feeling of wanting to throw up.

When he was done, he set his fork down, his jaw sore from the chewing. The doctor had sat with him patiently the whole time, and Dark finally looked at him again, looking weary and uncomfortable.

“Would you like to go back to your room?” He asked softly, reading the look in Dark’s eyes and his body language. Dark nodded.

~~~

That night, Dark was lying awake as looking at the opposite wall where there was a very small book shelf that had a couple books on it. He hadn’t touched any of them in weeks. He twisted the grey blankets around his fingers, listening idly to the screamed thoughts in his head.

Suddenly he saw something move out of the corner of his eyes and jolted up, scrambling back and pressing himself into the corner, watching the shadow move and flicker, growing larger.

“Who are you?” He asked softly. His face paled at the hissing coming from the being, body trembling in fear. 

_”You’ve grown so weak, Dark.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if some of the formatting is a bit wonky- i originally posted it on amino and so the copy and past thing is a little weird

Dark was scratching his left wrist with his dull right finger nail, staring at the brunette doctor as he spoke to one of the other staff members there. Dark tilted his head slightly as he watched the man smile kindly.

Despite the expression on the doctor’s face Dark could sense he was uncomfortable. And the staff member he was talking, she was obviously infatuated. Dark’s red eyed gaze bore into the female, staring at her with and odd and rather unnerving look in his eyes.

_What a stupid human! How dare she._

‘How dare she what?’ Dark asked The Bad One.

_How dare that bitch talk to OUR doctor_

‘That’s a mean name. We don’t own him.’ Dark told The Bad One.

_Says who?_

‘Laws against human trafficking, I would think.’

_Those are for humans dummy._

‘Either way it’s rather impolite to kidnap someone. Not the best way to get them to like you.’ Dark mused, continuing to fix the woman with an unsettling stare that she hadn’t noticed yet.

_What about Stockholm Syndrome?_

‘Well, you got me there.’

The woman glanced in Dark’s direction and blinked, her emotional aura shifting to discomfort when she took note of Dark’s stare. She quickly said a few more words to the doctor and hurried away. The man’s aura shifted to relieved. The brunette turned to look at Dark and raised an eyebrow at the unsettling glare that Dark still had fixed on her retreating back.

He walked over and sat at Dark’s table across from him. “How are yeh doin’ today?”The man asked the demon.

Dark blinked, eyes flickering to the doctor, finally leaving the woman as she winked out of sight. He still couldn’t remember the doctor’s name for the life of him.

How was he doing? Dark’s mind flickered back to his visitor the night before. ‘Not well,’ he decided.

“I’m alright.” Were the habitual words that left his mouth. The blue-eyed man raised his eyebrow again, fixing the demon with a look that clearly said ‘I don’t believe you.’

Dark shrugged, eyes flickering down to the messy scribbles he had drawn on his paper. They were rough sketches and to Dark they weren’t very good. He was quite out of practice, it had been at least a few years if not longer since he’s drawn, aside from a doodle here or there. He wasn’t entirely sure why he had the urge to now. Maybe it was because words had become less reliable for him as of late, and he needed something else to rely on.

The doctor tilted his head to look at the drawings. “Can I see?” He asked, gesturing to them. Dark hesitated for a second before he nodded and pushed the paper over to the man.

Dark stared a bit at the doctor, eyes looking over every detail of his face as he vaguely tried to grasp at his ever illusive name.

‘Didn’t it start with a J? No it was...yes, it was J wasn’t it? Or M? Was it M?’ Dark’s eyes scrunched up at the corners, squinting as he tried to remember.

“Who’s this?” The brunette asked, causing Dark’s eyes to snap from his face to the sketch he was pointing at.

“That’s my mother.” He replied. In times like these, Dark just seemed normal. He was able to normally hold a conversation if the occasion came up, and you wouldn’t think he was insane. He did have a bit of intense gaze, but it didn’t seem like insanity. It seemed interesting, drew you in and made you want to pay attention to him. He held you captive.

“Yer mother? Yeh haven’t ever mentioned her before. Are yeh two close?” The blue eyed man was curious as he met Dark’s intense stare.

Dark nodded. He rested his elbows in the table and laced his fingers together in front of his him. “We were. She was the only reason I kept in contact with my family. Once she died, well, it’s been quite some time since I’ve talked to my siblings.”

“I’m sorry fer yer loss,” the doctor ducked his head slightly out of respect.

Dark lifted a shoulder in a shrug, not seeming all that concerned with it. He was much more focused on the doctor’s name. He literally couldn’t xgrasp at it and it was driving him mad- well, mad-er. “Well, it’s not your fault.” Dark raised an eyebrow, something like amusement in his tone. “And it was a long time ago, anyway.”

The man’s attention shifted to the other messy sketch. “An’ who’s this?” He tapped it lightly with his finger, looking back up at Dark.

The demon looked at the sketch. In an instant the look in his eyes shifted from the neutral intensity to looking like he was being crushed by the weight of the world. Those bright red orbs a mix of emotions, but more than anything they were weary. “Somebody I used to know.” Came the quiet answer.

~~~

His eyes are nice

‘I thought we didn’t like his eyes.’

We don’t. But that doesn’t mean they’re not nice.

Dark had to agree with The Good One. The brunette did have nice eyes. Dark was staring blankly at the doctor as the man was speaking, not actually hearing anything he said.

The man seemed to realize this and stoped speaking suddenly. He chuckled quietly, “Dark? Daaark?” He waved his hand in front of the demon’s vision in an amused manner.

Dark blinked, eyes coming into focus. That’s when it suddenly clicked. “Jack.” He stated.

The man’s brow scrunched together in confusion. “Yes?” Dark has never called him by his name before.

“That’s your name? I knew it started with a J.” Dark mused to himself quietly, tilting his head. He was sitting on his bed now, knees bent slightly and elbow resting in one of them while his chin rested on his fist.

The doctor was even more confused now. Dark found it kind of endearing in a way. “Why didn’t yeh just ask me?”

“Why would I?” Dark asked quizzically. “Takes away the satisfaction of finally remembering myself.”

“Well...did yeh hear what I said?” Jack asked, changing the topic back to what he’d been previously discussing. Dark shook his head. “They’re lettin’ yeh visit with Mark. They don’t want yeh leavin’, but he said he could come ta see yeh. Technically only family is allowed ta see yeh, but yeh listed him as yer family they won’t know otherwise.”

Dark blinked. “When?”

“In two days.”

Dark nodded slowly, running his fingers through raven locks of hair.

_Mark? What does he want? Why would we talk to him?_

‘Mark’s kind. He’s trying to help. I’m sure this is probably upsetting for him.’

_Why? Because he knows he could be you and he doesn’t wanna be that pathetic?_

‘Probably.’

“Thank you.” Dark spoke quietly.

Jack gave gave Dark a blinding smile. “No need ta thank me. Maybe the visit will help yeh feel a bit better.” Dark was a little dazed by that bright smile. It wasn’t fair. He just nodded again.

~~~

_”Dark?” The demon looked up to meet the concerned brown eyes of his lookalike. “Do you think you’re insane?”_

_”Well, if the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result then...yes. I do believe I’ve very much insane, Mark.”_

_Mark frowned slightly. “What does that mean? What do you try over and over again?”_

_”Find a reason to keep going.” Dark said quietly. For the most part Dark wasn’t dishonest, he just kept a lot to himself. The moment of honest truth was solemn and quiet, and Mark looked sad to hear it._

_”Is it really so bad that you’d throw away all this time, your entire life, because of it?” The man asked softly._

_”You don’t know what that much time alive will do to you when you’re alone. You don’t know what’s it’s like in my head. It’s torture, every day.”_

~~~

Dark could recall specific things with unprecedented amounts of clarity. Other things evaded his grasp and remained ever illusive.

For example, he could remember the look in people’s eyes really well. Someone might think it ties to that windows of the soul nonsense. But Dark looked in people’s eyes for what he couldn’t find on their face. He looked in them for what was in him. He managed to control his facial expression all too well. But the eyes...the eyes of someone spoke volumes if you knew how to read them right.

So he could remember HIS eyes very well. They were caring, kind. Even loving at one point. He could remember their vibrant bluish green color. They were beautiful, and they always took Dark’s breath away.

Dark couldn’t for the life of him remember what the rest of HIM looked like. No matter how desperately hard he tired to picture it, HIS physical form or anything else about HIM it was a blank to his memory. He wasn’t sure if that was their doing, or if it was just his own brain.

All Dark knew was if he ever saw his eyes again, he would know who it was. Who left him like this. Who broke him.

Until then he was staring at the shadow in the corner of the room, not sure if that being was relevant to any of this mess that both Dark and Dark’s life had become.

“Who are you?” The demon called to it, tilting his head. His fear of this figure had suddenly vanished unexplainably. Dark was a shadow, why should he be afraid of one?

”You know who I am, Dark.”

“That’s awfully cryptic of you. Are you always this vague?”

“You don’t remember me?”

“Don’t take it personally, I don’t remember a lot these days.”

“What happened to you? You used to be...so much more.” The shadow flickered slightly, repositioning itself.

Dark sighed and looked down at the bed, deciding that this being was not a threat to him. ”So much as happened I don’t even know where to begin, where it ends, or what order it went in. Nothing makes sense anymore.”

“And the doctor? How does he fit into this?”

“A favor from Mark. You know Mark, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“So I know you?”

“You do.”


End file.
